Biography


FROM WHENCE.....

    All our ancestors factor into who we are.  Said influence may be great or small, either genetically or environmentally or both.
     First, I want to relate some powerful issues on my maternal ancestry side that is going to seem even more than incredible.
     My grandmother was 1 of 5 children but growing up all I heard of was her two sisters.  In my twenties my grandmother began to speak of her rich brother in New York that was apparently incognito.  Their father died at age 104 and I feel as though I was fortunate to have known someone who was born prior to the Civil War.  My grandmother in later years told of another brother that she believed died of alcoholism less than 50 miles away.  Both brothers left home in their teens and never came back with only one singular exception.  At age 86, the rich brother came home and visited my grandmother for about 2 hrs and I do not know how much time he spent with the other 2 sisters, if any.  It seemed to me he was dying and he came back to "see" from a rather moribund sense of curiosity.  Was there some monster gender issues at work that drove those boys away?  My great grandfather was very passive and if someone asked him and his family over for Sunday dinner he would simply say "I don't know.  You will have to take that up with the Mrs."  All 3 daughters married rather passive men and so did my mother, although my father may have been rather quiet, he often drew the line, especially with menacing kids.  My father's brand of chauvinism said that raising children was a woman's job so he was almost totally absolved of any responsibility from child raising. At my age 30, it seems my father began to realize he really had no relationship with me or my brother 15 yrs younger. He then began to try and mend fences with us and I do remember at age 20 I gave my dad a hug and he did not reciprocate and stood there with his arms at his side.  Men do not hug. I am glad I went to a religious college because on Sundays men would often hug before and after church and in a family setting, I saw that as rather healthy.  Less than 4 yrs later, my dad was killed by a drunk 28 yr old at 6:30 on Sunday morning. If you care to ask I have more details if deemed desirable.  Incidentally, my father's chauvinism treated my sisters with great love and he was constantly giving them hugs and giving them attention. Is it any wonder I felt so very alone. Girls were made of sugar and spice and everything nice and boys were the extreme opposite.  What a naive gender view. However, we must all remember it was a totally different era.
      Regarding my dad's family, it was 600 mi. north of the Gulf Coast.  In southern Illinois, it was extremely rural and typically chauvinistic for that area.  Men did men things like real physical labor outside the house whereas women did women things inside like cook, clean, have and take care of babies etc. It was a tough existence and they were owned by what I call the 'suppose to' ethic.  You were supposed to work hard, be good, believe, make all look well even if it wasn't.  Can the reader imagine the powerful gender issues at play in this new union called my parents.
      It should not be too much of a stretch to see my mother as seeing males as a necessary evil. Would you want your child to grow up in such?
     More regarding Mom. Family traits usually drift from one generation to the next.  I feel sorry for my mother because she was a victim long before she victimized everyone around her.
     My first thing to relate is that my mother was morbidly depressed and suicidal.  I took the gun out of her hand many times in my youth.  In my mind it seems this all started around age 6 or 7 but as I reflect, my visual mental snippets seem to approximate age 10.  Usually I came home after school and my mother was seated at the dining room table alone knowing I would soon be there.  She usually had the gun near her head, waving around in a small circular motion and I would peel her fingers from the gun and then I took the bullets out of the chrome 38 snub nose revolver.  If your mother was depressed and suicidal and you were a depressed child, you would consider suicide as a way of getting out of the pain of depression too.  I think it really bothered me that this same pistol showed up in the same scenario several times before my age 16. My dad probably did not know how to deal with her absolute hatred of sex and men and subsequent depression.
Almost no one saw the vast schism between my mother and father because they were great at living the facade.  My quest for intellectual honesty was the opposing pendulum swing in me that I let swing too far.  Most people that know me today see me as rather real with little or no pretense.
     At about age 13 or 14 I knew my suicidal thoughts were killing me.  My chest was constantly in pain. It is not at all difficult for me to say at this age "stress kills." The stress in my chest as a child was killing me and it took no imagination to feel it.  To rid myself of the pain, I knew I had to choose between suicide or totally removing such thoughts from my head.  I don't know that I have ever seen myself as all that smart but I did come up with a life saving analogy.  I imagined myself in a rodeo as a bull rider and getting on a bull's back and when that chute opened I was in for the ride of my life. Naturally, the bull was life and I was going to ride this life where ever it tossed me and I was probably going to die a natural death. My physical being improved immediately and I have lived a holistic adult life and take responsibility for my own health.
      I have lots of empathy for both my parents and further feel that so much of this world finds children victimized by just being born.  Please remember this, people that victimize are usually victims first. I do not want to offer anyone an excuse but, to help weaken the cycle, we must first understand it.
      Once over my suicidal thoughts forever, my mind cleared up some and the month after my 16th birthday I left home and lived with an uncle over 240 miles away.  He was married to my dad's sister and few can imagine the immense sense of debt I owe to Dowe Jones and his wife Margaret.  Can you imagine me fighting back a tear right now?  Incidentally, no relation to the Dow Jones Industrials.  Dowe's work ethic was second to none. He did more work before breakfast than most men did in a full day.  Mark Twain could have been thinking of my Uncle Dowe when he said "If you love what you do you will never have to work a day in your life."  In this vein, I have said my job is not insurance, I am in the people business and I think my customers will validate that.  The hand of determinism could not have handed me a greater gift than that of my Uncle Dowe. I am a most fortunate man.  Determinism handed me another powerful influence when I graduated from high school.  I won first prize as the leading history student that year and what an influence that has had in my life. I am ever so fortunate.  Upon graduation, I came to Mobile, Al but I was not the best of students in college but I learned ever so much. However, eating was a gargantuan worry of mine so I worked every moment I could. I seldom missed a class but what I considered necessity was eating. I still know today that my greatest fear in life is not eating. I majored in history and educational psychology and minored in biology and religious philosophy.  Even though I give religion a hard time for trivializing this life by promising another, I owe that school a lot but most of all, Dr Wm. K. Weaver did a yeoman's job of helping me one year for which I shall remain eternally in debt. Also, the day I was to get onto the governments bus to be drafted into the Navy, one of the school Dean's came up to me and said "You do not have to get on the bus for the draft. You have been reclassified as a hardship case." I had no idea what was going on behind my back. I love my country and was willing to serve but I also did not want college interrupted because I might never get back because of age, circumstance etc.  I also did not necessarily agree with war, much less the Nam war.  The reader may also note that for over a year in my college days I was a ministerial student and did a lot of preaching and it did help me to eat, for which I am appreciative. I have Jesus as a hero and think like Albert Schweitzer that his ethic shall sit on the top of any pyramid like a diamond, never to be surpassed. How could anyone come up with an ethic greater than the Golden Rule and the ethic of love? Could it get any better?
     I got married in my college days and the year after I graduated I became the father of a wonderful daughter.  I wanted to take fatherhood seriously and I wanted to apply some intelligence to it. Neither my mother nor my father ever read a book in their life but I had a fondness for knowledge and did read some but maybe I was a little like Abe Lincoln who is given credit with reading perhaps more than he did but what I did read I may have gotten a little more out of it than average. I hope so anyway.
     If I garnered any knowledge at all, my priority was to share what little I knew with my first daughter, and my second too, as a platform to help them be greater in as many ways as possible than their parents. Can you see I give children a priority in life because I think I saw myself as an outsider all my childhood and of almost no consequential value at all.  I project onto children what I think I needed as a child.  Also note one of the more powerful essays in this web page,  THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY FOR GREED, is an essay to elevate children and degrade pedophilia. If you have missed same please read it NOW.
     In conclusion, I hope I have helped you understand the purpose of this web site and it will be an ongoing site til I die. Thanks ever so much for trying to understand moi and if a single word has helped you or yours, I am happy.
   




Come by the RSA office at 1500 Schillinger Rd S, Mobile, Al 36695 to get your copy of the book below and remind us to give u a free copy of Protecting your Home from Catastrophic Winds.  If you are near Dauphin Island you may call Ross on his cell at 251 510 0450 and he has simple directions to get to his house in the center of the island.


This little book is a critical expose of the life insurance business and was designed to expose the right reasons for buying life insurance and when. There should also be times you may not need life insurancel. Good financial planning would always take into consideration taxes as well. A good agent will always be willing to help you make these decisions.   We, at RSA INSURANCE ARE ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP.


 

I will be glad to send you a free copy of this little book if you will send me your address and I will advise the price of postage and handling.  I have always wanted to be a great financial planner and this little book is in that direction.  Thanks,   Ross                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Dear Reader, If you would also like a simple capsulation of the world view of Ross, simply check out the last entry on the quote page by Miquel Cervantes.  This world may be crazy, but it is the only one we have...so far....

5 comments:

  1. These comments sections do not seem to be working right and I aim to get corrected soon. Thanks for your patience, Ross p.s. I do hope I have, in whatever small way, helped the commenter above to have hope. I have survived by the hardest and I hope they can too.

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  2. Please note that I appreciate the many thousands of hits and the leading country is my own, for which I am most appreciative, but the next country is China and I want to that the Chinese for that. Also note that in the last 2 months, I have had hits from 23 countries. Thank you all so very much. The very sad family of my youth say, Thanks, Ross

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  3. This is Ross....Please note that I do sincerely hope that I have not offended anyone in China or Russia. I have only acknowledged that their communist experience from the era of 100 years ago was a wonderful attempt to address the insane machinations of religion in the West from religion gone mad and the Inquisition. To claim religion as counter productive to society seems very sane so long as you see secularism as sane and helpful to society. The biggest problem with socialism is it combined atheism with economics and in society, that may have been too complex to be successful. Atheism is correct, religion can be counterproductive to society and socialism stifles the initiative of the individual so the socio-economic revolutions in the East were doomed to failure even if they had the best interest of its citizens at heart. This may be a great historical example of just how powerfully we must always seek balance of head and heart. THANKS, ROSS I do not want to offend anyone in France either but ..........What do you call a Psychiatrist in Paris that falls into the river???? He is in sane.......:-))) As in the River Seine..... Thank you all for your support....this web page has been a very cathartic event for moi. I am in your debt.

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  4. Ross, thank you. Your honesty, humility and humanity are truly refreshing and an inspiration. Anonymously yours, FRB

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